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Thread: Transgender question......

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    As long as they are "letting" her and not forcing her or swaying her in this direction I say let the kid do what he/she wants. What are you going to do, force her to wear pink dresses and call herself Cindy and be miserable? I would draw the line at any kind of hormone therapy but forcing a kid to be something they don't want to be is not healthy either.
    But saying to everyone that they have 2 sons and one daughter? Making sure that any traces of the daughter are erased and that Elliott and ONLY Elliott are what’s left? They want nothing to do with the daughter’s “history.” They should be getting the daughter help and having the teacher enforce the no-bullying policy....not catering to a 5 year old’s wishes like THIS. I don’t care about the hair or the clothes. But changing the name, not acknowledging they have 2 daughters, making everyone else call the girl a boy....that’s much!!!
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Steelerlyn View Post
    But saying to everyone that they have 2 sons and one daughter? Making sure that any traces of the daughter are erased and that Elliott and ONLY Elliott are what’s left? They want nothing to do with the daughter’s “history.” They should be getting the daughter help and having the teacher enforce the no-bullying policy....not catering to a 5 year old’s wishes like THIS. I don’t care about the hair or the clothes. But changing the name, not acknowledging they have 2 daughters, making everyone else call the girl a boy....that’s much!!!
    I just think constantly correcting her or other people "No, you're a girl" "No, that's my daughter" against her wishes sets this up as a battle of wills. Let her call herself whatever she wants.

    Not knowing them I can't say for sure that this is a response to the bullying or if the girl was at home every day saying "I'm a boy" like some of these kids apparently do.

    Being loved and accepted for whoever she is to me is more important than imposing my will on her. As long as they are being led by her wishes and not pushing her one way or the other, I don't have a problem with what they're doing. Yes, she needs therapy for sure just to help her deal with whatever the reality of this is. But in my opinion they would do far more damage to her insisting she be something she doesn't want to be than allowing her to be herself.

  3. #23
    Member IndySteel's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    I just think constantly correcting her or other people "No, you're a girl" "No, that's my daughter" against her wishes sets this up as a battle of wills. Let her call herself whatever she wants.
    .
    I have a real problem with that. If one of my daughters said she now thinks she's a boy and wanted to change her name I'd have her in a psychiatrist's office so fast her head would spin.

  4. #24
    She was OK with being a girl up until a few months ago when the bullying started. She always has been athletic and a tomboy- hates dresses and all that. But she was always a girl. Then when the pretty girls" as they are called at the school started making fun of her for not wearing girly clothes (never once did they say she was a boy....just that she didn't wear cute clothes) did she decide that she was a boy.

    Battle of wills? Who is the parent here? It's not like the girl is 15. She's 5. She needs to know who sets the boundaries and the rules. By giving in, it's saying that SHE sets the rules!!!!
    Last edited by Steelerlyn; 12-12-2018 at 03:58 PM.
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

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  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by IndySteel View Post
    I have a real problem with that. If one of my daughters said she now thinks she's a boy and wanted to change her name I'd have her in a psychiatrist's office so fast her head would spin.
    What do you think the psychiatrist would say?

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Steelerlyn View Post
    She was OK with being a girl up until a few months ago when the bullying started. She always has been athletic and a tomboy- hates dresses and all that. But she was always a girl. Then when the pretty girls" as they are called at the school started making fun of her for not wearing girly clothes (never once did they say she was a boy....just that she didn't wear cute clothes) did she decide that she was a boy.

    Battle of wills? Who is the parent here? It's not like the girl is 15. She's 5. She needs to know who sets the boundaries and the rules. By giving in, it's saying that SHE sets the rules!!!!
    I don't live with them and I don't know enough about what happens inside their home every day or what goes on in their daughter's life/thought processes etc. to decide that they're making the wrong decision.

    Demanding that she call herself a girl and wear "girl clothes" if she is dead set against it isn't setting boundaries to me. It's telling her that who she is and who she wants to be is bad and wrong. If in fact she isn't transgender she will figure that out eventually. Trying to force it rarely works and leads to abject misery for a lot of kids.

    Just my opinion.

  7. #27
    Member IndySteel's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    What do you think the psychiatrist would say?
    Help get to the root cause of the issue, because there are some serious mental problems or cry for help involved. No sane, competent person thinks that they are the opposite sex of what they are in reality. And no rational parent would let their kid believe that like nothing is abnormal about it.

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  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by IndySteel View Post
    Help get to the root cause of the issue, because there are some serious mental problems or cry for help involved. No sane, competent person thinks that they are the opposite sex of what they are in reality. And no rational parent would let their kid believe that like nothing is abnormal about it.
    No trained psychiatrist will tell her that her desire to be a boy means she's crazy. Not in 2018 anyway.

    Personally I'm not sure where my feelings come out on whether it's normal or not. I think some people do this for attention or to be different or weird. I think some people really deeply feel they are the opposite gender inside. Who am I to say they shouldn't go with that if that's what makes them happy? Would you rather your daughter stay a girl and be miserable or live as a boy and be happy? I don't judge any parent for doing what they believe is right in this instance. As I said, as long as they are not the ones forcing it or pushing it on the kid, which is sick.

    Where I will always come out is on the side of loving my kids no matter who they are and who they want to be. They don't think and feel and act the way I would always but I don't insist they come around to my way.

  9. #29
    Member IndySteel's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    No trained psychiatrist will tell her that her desire to be a boy means she's crazy. Not in 2018 anyway.

    Personally I'm not sure where my feelings come out on whether it's normal or not. I think some people do this for attention or to be different or weird. I think some people really deeply feel they are the opposite gender inside. Who am I to say they shouldn't go with that if that's what makes them happy? Would you rather your daughter stay a girl and be miserable or live as a boy and be happy? I don't judge any parent for doing what they believe is right in this instance. As I said, as long as they are not the ones forcing it or pushing it on the kid, which is sick.

    Where I will always come out is on the side of loving my kids no matter who they are and who they want to be. They don't think and feel and act the way I would always but I don't insist they come around to my way.
    Then I would find one who still does shock therapy. Look, if you're a kid who has a dick and you think you are a female, you're fucked in the head. And vice versa.

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  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by IndySteel View Post
    Then I would find one who still does shock therapy. Look, if you're a kid who has a dick and you think you are a female, you're fucked in the head. And vice versa.
    Well, that's your opinion. Again, not sure where I come down on it, the medical community disagrees with you though. I just disagree with forcing the issue one way or the other...you won't fix "the problem" that way and you may create new ones.

  11. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troglodyte View Post
    Rick Santorum said the same thing a decade ago, it didnít happen.
    What are you talking about ? We're full blown off the scale stupid with garabge. Shit just turn on the TV. I would have never dreamed 10 years ago we would have the stuff we do now on TV. That's the norm now. Hell California outdoes itself monthly with absurd garbage.

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  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steelr4evr View Post
    What are you talking about ? We're full blown off the scale stupid with garabge. Shit just turn on the TV. I would have never dreamed 10 years ago we would have the stuff we do now on TV. That's the norm now. Hell California outdoes itself monthly with absurd garbage.
    Dude, anything west of the Mississippi is going whacky.
    NM is becoming California light

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  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTC View Post
    Dude, anything west of the Mississippi is going whacky.
    NM is becoming California light
    Good thing I have no desire to ever live on the left coast or any state that has its head up its ass .

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steelr4evr View Post
    Good thing I have no desire to ever live on the left coast or any state that has its head up its ass .
    My only complaint is the justice system is really lenient on repeat offenders.
    Add in the crazy apologist for every social group, especially in the university area.

    If it wasn't for my family living here. I'd move

  15. #35
    A strong, loving, caring parent would allow her to do as she wants and dress as she wants while CONTINUING to make her understand she is a girl, and what her name really is. You also need to CONTINUE to let her know that even though she is a girl, it in no way has to limit her as she grows up, same as any other PERCEIVED differences. She needs PARENTS, not want to be friend supporters. What do they do when she decides she doesn’t want to get an education and just wants to drink and do drugs all day?

  16. #36
    Member IndySteel's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by MT~Forged View Post
    A strong, loving, caring parent would allow her to do as she wants and dress as she wants while CONTINUING to make her understand she is a girl, and what her name really is. You also need to CONTINUE to let her know that even though she is a girl, it in no way has to limit her as she grows up, same as any other PERCEIVED differences. She needs PARENTS, not want to be friend supporters. What do they do when she decides she doesn’t want to get an education and just wants to drink and do drugs all day?
    Do you really think that the best course of parenting is to look the other way while your daughter “Beth” decides to call herself “Burt” and pretend that she has a dick?

  17. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by MT~Forged View Post
    A strong, loving, caring parent would allow her to do as she wants and dress as she wants while CONTINUING to make her understand she is a girl, and what her name really is. You also need to CONTINUE to let her know that even though she is a girl, it in no way has to limit her as she grows up, same as any other PERCEIVED differences. She needs PARENTS, not want to be friend supporters. What do they do when she decides she doesn’t want to get an education and just wants to drink and do drugs all day?
    THIS. I don't care about her wanting super short hair or wearing athletic clothes. That's a non- issue. I had short hair as a kid and wore tomboy clothes. HOWEVER....my mom and dad made sure that on Sundays, I wore a dress to church and they never once told me I was a hoy....or allowed me to be a boy. I know there were a few times I said that I wished I was a boy (mostly for going to the bathroom purposes and the like), but never did they cater to those desires.

    As a grown adult, I still shun dresses and dressy clothes. My hair is long, and I am 100% female. Never questioned my gender at all. I feel my friend is doing a HUGE disservice by not reinforcing what gender "Elliott" really is. THAT is my issue....that the 5 year old runs the house.
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

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  18. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by MTC View Post
    Dude, anything west of the Mississippi is going whacky.
    NM is becoming California light
    KS is still pretty Red....and we are west of the Mississippi.....
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

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  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steelerlyn View Post
    KS is still pretty Red....and we are west of the Mississippi.....
    The midwest in general is still red. Head west past TX you get into some pretty blue states with small red cities.
    Gets pretty odd around these parts lol.

    I was surprised how liberal Denver has gotten too. Went there in July. It was weird.

  20. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by MTC View Post
    The midwest in general is still red. Head west past TX you get into some pretty blue states with small red cities.
    Gets pretty odd around these parts lol.

    I was surprised how liberal Denver has gotten too. Went there in July. It was weird.
    That's because Colorado legalized the ganja.....lol.
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

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