Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 41 to 60 of 66

Thread: Transgender question......

  1. #41
    THIS. I don't care about her wanting super short hair or wearing athletic clothes. That's a non- issue. I had short hair as a kid and wore tomboy clothes. HOWEVER....my mom and dad made sure that on Sundays, I wore a dress to church and they never once told me I was a hoy....or allowed me to be a boy. I know there were a few times I said that I wished I was a boy (mostly for going to the bathroom purposes and the like), but never did they cater to those desires.

    As a grown adult, I still shun dresses and dressy clothes. My hair is long, and I am 100% female. Never questioned my gender at all. I feel my friend is doing a HUGE disservice by not reinforcing what gender "Elliott" really is. THAT is my issue....that the 5 year old runs the house.
    This little girl is not you though. As you said, you never questioned your gender. Some of these kids start telling their parents "I am a boy" as toddlers.

    Personally I don't think this is a decision most families take lightly. The backlash they will get will be brutal. And as I said I don't know (maybe you know better) what actually goes on in their home and with their child. Therefore I don't judge what they are doing as wrong. If they were giving her hormones or surgery or something else that was potentially irreversible, I would have a problem with it as the child is too young to make those kinds of decisions. But letting her dress and live and call herself what she wants harms no one. Forcing her to be someone she doesn't want to be could cause her long term damage.

    I'm not a parenting expert but those are my feelings. Yes, we are parents not friends, but that does not mean we have or should have complete control over everything.

    This isn't a red/blue issue to me. This is a what's best for the mental health of the child issue to me. And we have a difference of opinion on that.

  2. #42
    She had no desire to be a boy until after the girls bullied her. For 5 years she was ok with being a girl-then a few weren’t nice to her and that’s when this started. Does she not get that all kids are mean to each other at some point in life? I give my friend props for not forcing hormones and all that...but I do think 5 is still too young to dictate a major life decision like this. 5 year olds waffle from wanting to be a truck driver to a doctor to a fisherman to a ballerina to a teacher to a garbage man...sometimes all in one day.
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by Steelerlyn View Post
    She had no desire to be a boy until after the girls bullied her. For 5 years she was ok with being a girl-then a few weren’t nice to her and that’s when this started. Does she not get that all kids are mean to each other at some point in life? I give my friend props for not forcing hormones and all that...but I do think 5 is still too young to dictate a major life decision like this. 5 year olds waffle from wanting to be a truck driver to a doctor to a fisherman to a ballerina to a teacher to a garbage man...sometimes all in one day.
    If you're not privy to all the conversations they have had in private over the last several years I'm not sure how you could know that she was fine with it before then. You said she was a tomboy and dressing like a boy before the girls bullied her. Perhaps they haven't shared publicly everything that has gone on.

    Like I said, I don't think "most" parents would make this move lightly. If they are just trying to avoid bullying this sure isn't the best way to go about it.

  4. #44
    No, I wasn’t privy to ALL conversations. I do know that if this had been an issue before, that I would have known. Our families are that close. Heck- I changed her younger brother’s diapers. My friend and her husband are very liberal. Very new age parenting and just non traditional. Their kids are loved and not abused...but I can’t help but wonder if their political leanings play a part in this decision. I hope that “Elliott” outgrows this and that SHE is ok in the end. Just so far out of the realm of anything I would do for a kid that age, I can’t support it.
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by IndySteel View Post
    Do you really think that the best course of parenting is to look the other way while your daughter “Beth” decides to call herself “Burt” and pretend that she has a dick?
    Reading comprehension is not your strong suit is it?

  6. #46
    Member IndySteel's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Carmel, IN
    Posts
    9,149
    Rep Power
    241
    Quote Originally Posted by MT~Forged View Post
    Reading comprehension is not your strong suit is it?
    Sorry about that. I was half asleep while the dog was outside and only read this part: A strong, loving, caring parent would allow her to do as she wants and dress as she wants

    The Following User Likes This Post:



  7. #47
    I have to side with Lyn on this one. I am very supportive of gay and trans people.....always have been as someone who works with high school kids. I know what a difficult life they have most of the time. That being said, if my kid started talking about identifying as the opposite gender in Elementary School, there is no way in the world I would feed into it in any way until they were at least high school age and probably very late teens. I would not be mean about it, I just wouldn't encourage it and I'd let the comments go without making a big deal.

    Let's be honest.....little kids are all over the place at all times with what they want. And don't even freaking get me started on middle school kids. Middle school kids will do or say absolutely anything under the sun if it gets them attention and makes then seem special or different. They are completely desperate for that attention at all times. If a middle schooler thought that identifying as a giraffe would get them attention from their peers, the next day, they would be come to school walking on stilts telling everyone they were a giraffe. Now.....on the other hand, I would figure that if the kid has been talking about it since they were young and continues talking about it into their later teens, it's not a passing fad and is most likely going to stick for good. If that happened, so be it. I would support them.

    But I can't see any benefit whatsoever of allowing a kid to become a different gender in Elementary school just because they talk about it. They aren't old enough to take care of their own daily functions by themselves let alone plot out the course of the rest of their lives. That would be akin to the 5 year old telling you they wanted to be a brain surgeon, so you go out the next day and buy them a scalpel set to go around practicing cutting things up around the house or trying out surgery on the dog. My point is, there's no need to jump into a life altering choice with both feet at that age, with very little evidence that it is really a life altering moment or if it's little kid talk.
    Last edited by Supersteeler; 12-13-2018 at 07:18 PM.

    The Following 2 Users Like This Post:



  8. #48
    That would be akin to the 5 year old telling you they wanted to be a brain surgeon, so you go out the next day and buy them a scalpel set to go around practicing cutting things up around the house or trying out surgery on the dog.
    I don't think letting them wear what they want and call themselves what they want is akin to giving them a scalpel.

    There've been 3 suicides at my daughters' two colleges in the last 2 weeks. Kids today are under so much pressure. I realized several years ago that the biggest parenting mistake I was making was trying to create the perfect family with the perfect kids and make sure everything always went according to my plan. I did not even realize the pressure I was putting on my kids.

    What kids need more than anything from their parents is unconditional acceptance and love. They need to know their home is the place where they can be who they are and feel loved and accepted. If anyone thinks they are going to stave off transgenderism in their kid by forbidding it, I think there is a fairly large body of evidence that it won't work and will only harm the child by teaching them that who they are inside is bad and wrong. Confidence in their true identity comes from that security that is developed at home.

    Again, I realize my parenting philosophy differs a lot from many here. That's ok. I haven't had to deal with this particular issue but I have had to deal with a few other issues and I can only imagine this would be gut wrenching. Seeing your child suffer is the worst feeling there is and most of us will do what we can to make things better. Unless there's some reason to think these parents have some kind of twisted motives I would support them in doing what they feel is best for their child and their family.

  9. #49
    Member IndySteel's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Carmel, IN
    Posts
    9,149
    Rep Power
    241
    This is so stupid. Now Germany has a third gender called "diverse." That's such bullshit. You are either male or female.

    https://www.breitbart.com/europe/201...ial-documents/

    The Following User Likes This Post:



  10. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by IndySteel View Post
    This is so stupid. Now Germany has a third gender called "diverse." That's such bullshit. You are either male or female.

    https://www.breitbart.com/europe/201...ial-documents/
    EXACTLY!!!!!! How exactly would two "diverse" people procreate?????
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

    The Following User Likes This Post:



  11. #51
    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    I don't think letting them wear what they want and call themselves what they want is akin to giving them a scalpel.

    There've been 3 suicides at my daughters' two colleges in the last 2 weeks. Kids today are under so much pressure. I realized several years ago that the biggest parenting mistake I was making was trying to create the perfect family with the perfect kids and make sure everything always went according to my plan. I did not even realize the pressure I was putting on my kids.

    What kids need more than anything from their parents is unconditional acceptance and love. They need to know their home is the place where they can be who they are and feel loved and accepted. If anyone thinks they are going to stave off transgenderism in their kid by forbidding it, I think there is a fairly large body of evidence that it won't work and will only harm the child by teaching them that who they are inside is bad and wrong. Confidence in their true identity comes from that security that is developed at home.

    Again, I realize my parenting philosophy differs a lot from many here. That's ok. I haven't had to deal with this particular issue but I have had to deal with a few other issues and I can only imagine this would be gut wrenching. Seeing your child suffer is the worst feeling there is and most of us will do what we can to make things better. Unless there's some reason to think these parents have some kind of twisted motives I would support them in doing what they feel is best for their child and their family.
    This is not meant as an insult to you or any of your friends' parenting, but I think modern parenting styles are creating mentally weak kids who are completely unable to handle everyday pressures of life. I think this is what is causing the huge uptick in depressions/suicides. Kids used to be able to adapt to difficulties and problem solve them. Now they feel helpless because they haven't been taught any coping skills at home, which leads to a lot of depression. We tell our kids growing up that they are perfect, they are the best, they can never be wrong. Then when they start facing adversity and have to face the concept that they might not be the greatest, smartest and most special kid on the planet, they are not equipped to process it. Plus we want to solve all of their problems and fight all of their battles for them. I feel it's making them emotional cripples. That's just my 2 cents anyway.

    Yes I try to make my own kids feel special and I try to make them feel confident about things. What I refuse to do is blow smoke up their asses and lead them to believe they are somehow superior to everyone else and that they are the greatest at everything they do, which is an obvious fact to them that they aren't. I think kids deep down, appreciate honesty and reality when it's presented to them, rather than being coddled and built up to be something they are not. That creates a lot of pressure and unattainable standards when reality comes crashing down.
    Last edited by Supersteeler; 12-14-2018 at 06:06 PM.

  12. #52
    What I refuse to do is blow smoke up their asses and lead them to believe they are somehow superior to everyone else and that they are the greatest at everything they do, which is an obvious fact to them that they aren't. I think kids deep down, appreciate honesty and reality when it's presented to them, rather than being coddled and built up to be something they are not. That creates a lot of pressure and unattainable standards when reality comes crashing down.
    Well if that's what you got from my post about my parenting I obviously didn't explain myself very well. I'm not talking about blowing smoke up anyone's ass and telling them they're perfect.I'm talking about loving and accepting your child despite the fact that they are not perfect, not superior to anyone, not the best at everything, and maybe even not turning out exactly the way you envisioned them to. I'm talking about not demanding that they conform to your vision in order to be loved and accepted.

  13. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    Well if that's what you got from my post about my parenting I obviously didn't explain myself very well. I'm not talking about blowing smoke up anyone's ass and telling them they're perfect.I'm talking about loving and accepting your child despite the fact that they are not perfect, not superior to anyone, not the best at everything, and maybe even not turning out exactly the way you envisioned them to. I'm talking about not demanding that they conform to your vision in order to be loved and accepted.
    So you don't smack 'em if they act like a nancy-boy?

    The Following User Likes This Post:



  14. #54
    Quote Originally Posted by CharlesDavenport View Post
    So you don't smack 'em if they act like a nancy-boy?
    Yes, once my kid wanted to wear a pink shirt so I kicked the shit out of him. Beat the ghey right out of him.

    The Following 4 Users Like This Post:



  15. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by oneforthebus View Post
    Well if that's what you got from my post about my parenting I obviously didn't explain myself very well. I'm not talking about blowing smoke up anyone's ass and telling them they're perfect.I'm talking about loving and accepting your child despite the fact that they are not perfect, not superior to anyone, not the best at everything, and maybe even not turning out exactly the way you envisioned them to. I'm talking about not demanding that they conform to your vision in order to be loved and accepted.
    My mistake, I fully agree with you that you should love and support your kids in whatever they want to do.

    However I do think these skyrocketing rates of depression are two fold. There are so many absentee parents who do not have time to pay attention to their kids now. There are a lot around here that are hooked on drugs and leave their kids to fend for themselves. The other end of the spectrum are the parents who are overly involved and are hellbent on making sure their kids never have to face any real world consequences or *gasp* fail at anything....ever. Both are terrible for a kid's mental well being.

  16. #56
    Member
    MTC's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Beaconville
    Posts
    13,530
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    312
    Quote Originally Posted by Supersteeler View Post
    This is not meant as an insult to you or any of your friends' parenting, but I think modern parenting styles are creating mentally weak kids who are completely unable to handle everyday pressures of life. I think this is what is causing the huge uptick in depressions/suicides. Kids used to be able to adapt to difficulties and problem solve them. Now they feel helpless because they haven't been taught any coping skills at home, which leads to a lot of depression. We tell our kids growing up that they are perfect, they are the best, they can never be wrong. Then when they start facing adversity and have to face the concept that they might not be the greatest, smartest and most special kid on the planet, they are not equipped to process it. Plus we want to solve all of their problems and fight all of their battles for them. I feel it's making them emotional cripples. That's just my 2 cents anyway.

    Yes I try to make my own kids feel special and I try to make them feel confident about things. What I refuse to do is blow smoke up their asses and lead them to believe they are somehow superior to everyone else and that they are the greatest at everything they do, which is an obvious fact to them that they aren't. I think kids deep down, appreciate honesty and reality when it's presented to them, rather than being coddled and built up to be something they are not. That creates a lot of pressure and unattainable standards when reality comes crashing down.
    Kids are pretty honest themselves. They like to straight up say something as is, my son is like that.
    As for getting them to cope with constructive critism, facing adversity etc.

    Learning those values through sports has always been the go to.
    I agree in don't blow smoke up their ass, but I'm also one to tell my son sometimes life just doesn't go our way.

    Hurts cause as a parent, you want to give them everything. But you also have to look at it as them learning that if they want something or whatever they have to work at it.


    It's a fragile issue cause we all have our way of parenting.

  17. #57
    I love my child for everything she is...in spite of the fact that she hates me. I never expected her to be perfect....BUT....I also knew when to tell her that even though whatever it was she wanted to do was what SHE wanted, it wasn't the best thing for her and I wouldn't let her as long as she lived under my roof.
    "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".--- Ferris Bueller

    "Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way."---- Jimmy Buffett

    7/6/50-8/4/12 RIP Daddy.

  18. #58
    I’ve never been to Spain




    First transgender Miss Universe contestant

    “I always say: having a vagina didn't transform me into a woman. I am a woman, already before birth, because my identity is here [her head.]”



    https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/79...se-contestant/

  19. #59
    Forefather

    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    El Paso, Rep. of TX
    Posts
    371
    Rep Power
    64
    I’ll piggyback on some of what’s already been said…

    Let’s see: Typically, a 5 year old learned to walk and to use the potty by him/herself just 3 years prior, learned to talk in a way to be understood 2 years ago. He/she has just begun to form societal behaviors and is just learning coping skills. Five year olds would love to run down that steep hill, play with that barking Rotweiller, chase a ball down the street, but we as parents step in and tell them we’re not going to let them do what they want. We as parents bear the responsibility of setting parameters. Also consider that a 5 year old has a developing imagination (“I wanna be dinosaur!” I wanna be a superhero”) that can never be mistaken with reality. Just because someone that young says they want to be something else, we as parents don’t all of a sudden give in. Let children be children, but parents need to parent. And that means the problems (e.g., bullying) that come with it. Isn’t that how children learn coping skills? Aren’t those problems precisely the perfect opportunity for a parent to teach valuable life lessons, as in, “life is hard, you’ll be dealing with bad/hard people all your life… this is how you deal with it.” “You’re going to fail in life. That’s normal, but without failure you’ll never reach success”. “I’m not a perfect parent so I don’t expect you to be a perfect child. But here’s what I do expect from you….” Parenting 101. Instead, this parent cedes her parental responsibility, accepts today’s “trends” and decides it’s the best course for her kid. Talk about child abuse.

    I wouldn’t depend too heavily on modern psychology. We need to be careful in relying on postmodern psychoanalysts and their trade, which has taken it upon itself to redefine all kinds of morally-corrupt behaviors (pedophilia, homosexuality, gender-identity disorders, etc) and used Freud’s model of “the self” and the ability of each individual to find his own solution. Either that or it drowns them in psychotropic meds. There are other options (Christian/Biblical Counseling). In the end, we can only truly control what happens within the walls of our home. Teach them while they’re young, let them know they’re loved, show them how to love, but along with love apply equal amounts of discipline when needed. And don’t helicopter.

    The Following User Likes This Post:



  20. #60
    Quite an opportunity for a creative young fellow


    Historic all-girls college is now accepting men if they identify as female

    America's second oldest women-only college has announced it will begin accepting admission applications from transgender candidates, explaining that the school has “expanded its definition of womanhood.”

    In a statement, Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri, announced that it will be admitting male students who identify as women — but will exclude trans men — beginning in the fall of 2019.

    The college's new policy says, "The college’s undergraduate residential women’s program will continue to admit and enroll students who are women and who live as women, just as it always has. It will also admit and enroll students who were not born female, but who identify and live as women; those students will need to provide legal documentation that they are legally women or that they are transitioning to female.”

    “Because the college has expanded its definition of womanhood to include both sex and gender, it is logically consistent that it also acknowledges both sex and gender in its definition of manhood. As a result, the college will stop admitting and enrolling students who were born female but who now identify as men or who are transitioning from female to male."

    The decision to include transgender and non-binary students at Stephens College, a 185-year-old institution, was made unanimously by the Board of Trustees, according to an explainer released by the school.

    https://www.christianpost.com/news/h...as-female.html

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Follow @SteeIerNation